Schools ·
WJCC School Board Unanimously Approves Redistricting, Ending Months of Pretending to Care
After months of receiving public comment, board members can finally return to ignoring constituents without the exhausting formality of allowing them to express their opinions.
WILLIAMSBURG, VA: Following Tuesday night’s unanimous approval of the WJCC school redistricting plan, School Board members expressed overwhelming relief that they could finally return to making whatever decisions they wanted without the exhausting obligation of pretending to care what their constituents think.
The vote concluded months of community meetings, public comments, emails, and concerned parents explaining why the proposed changes deserved further consideration.
Board members thanked residents for their participation, noting that the process had provided a valuable opportunity for the community to feel involved in decisions that were going to happen regardless.
“People don’t realize how much work goes into listening to hundreds of people explain their concerns and then doing exactly what we were going to do anyway,” explained one board official. “It’s exhausting. Sometimes we even had to pretend to care.” They went on, "If we're being honest, the whole thing was a charade, or theater, if you will. I mean, the kids aren't the only ones doing the acting around here."
According to district insiders, the board’s Community Engagement Department has already begun dismantling its elaborate public feedback system, which consisted of a suggestion box connected directly to a paper shredder. Officials acknowledged that the process had been unnecessarily complicated by parents mistakenly believing their opinions mattered.
“We never promised to actually consider anyone’s opinions,” another official clarified. “We promised them an opportunity to express those opinions. That’s a very important distinction.”
The board emphasized that parent participation remains absolutely essential and encouraged families to continue joining PTAs, volunteering at school events, organizing fundraisers, and making generous donations.
“Parents are the backbone of our schools, and we couldn’t do this without them,” officials explained. “We need their time, their energy, and most importantly, their money - just not their input."
At press time, board members were reportedly planning a well-deserved retreat to recover from the emotional toll of being forced to hear opinions other than their own.