The Williamsburg Shallot

Local satire from Williamsburg, Virginia

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LOCAL WOMAN, 83, ISSUES FORMAL APOLOGY AFTER ALMOST SPEEDING

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Beverly Huntsinger, 83, wishes to clarify that Tuesday's incident on Longhill Road was not intentional, and that she is "deeply sorry" for momentarily approaching the legal maximum of 45 miles per hour, a limit she describes as "not a suggestion, and certainly not a goal."

In her apology she acknowledged that speed limits are exactly that; the limit, the ceiling. She slyly added that she’s under 5 ft tall and has never reached the ceiling in her life. She maintains that her typical cruising speed of 34 mph is a lovely pace at which to get around town.

Huntsinger says that she loves driving and seeing so many friendly people. Noting that she is honked at “constantly," which she attributes to a community of well-wishers. She responds to each honk with a friendly smile and a wave, gestures she says are simply good manners returned in kind. "People are so pleasant out there," she said. "Always saying hello."

Her daughter Pam chimed in "Genuinely, we were proud of her. For eleven seconds, nobody behind her had to plan an alternate route. That hasn't happened since Dad was alive."

Huntsinger, somewhat embarrassed, has committed to being more cautious from now on and promises that she will return to her regular 34 MPH.

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